Being a mom is one of the most rewarding and demanding jobs in the world. From the moment you wake up to the minute you fall asleep, your day is filled with tasks, responsibilities, and emotions. With all the chaos, it’s easy to lose sight of one of the most important things: being “There” with your children. As a busy mom, staying present in the moment can feel impossible, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips to help you stay grounded and enjoy the journey, even when things feel hectic.
1. Welcome the Imperfection
One of the first steps in being “There” is letting go of the pressure to be perfect. Many of us juggle work, household chores, school activities, sports, and family life, all while trying to maintain a flawless image. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to do everything perfectly. However, the reality is that perfection is a main source of stress, not fulfillment.
Instead, welcome the imperfection. It’s okay if the house isn’t spotless (If you have any amount of OCD, this is way easier said than done. Trust me, I know), if dinner isn’t homemade every night (it’s not for us!), or if you don’t always have the energy to play an hour of games with your kids. Allow yourself to be human, and remember that being present with your children doesn’t require perfection; it requires connection.
2. Set Boundaries and Prioritize Time for Yourself
Moms often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own, but self-care is essential for staying present. You can’t give if you have nothing left in you to give, it will be difficult to focus on what matters most: your family.
Setting boundaries—whether it’s taking a few minutes each day for quiet time, going for a walk, or simply saying “no” to extra commitments—can help you recharge. Prioritize your well-being by incorporating small self-care habits into your routine. When you feel physically and emotionally replenished, you’ll be more able to focus on your children and family and be truly present in their lives.
3. Practice Mindfulness and Be Intentional About Your Time
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for staying present. It’s about being fully engaged in the moment, whether you’re spending time with your kids, working, or simply doing what feels like endless household chores. Practicing mindfulness allows you to break free from distractions and focus on the now.
One effective way to practice mindfulness is by setting aside time to focus on your senses (they’re powerful). For example, when you’re playing with your child, take a moment to notice the sound of their laughter, the feel of their small hands in yours, and the warmth of their hug. These small moments of intentional awareness can help you create a deeper connection and cultivate a sense of gratitude for your time together. You quickly remember that these moments don’t last forever and at some point, they will be memories that you will be grateful for.
Another way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine is by scheduling “intentional moments.” Whether it’s setting aside 10 minutes in the morning for a quiet coffee (a must have for me) or spending a few minutes in the evening reflecting on the day (Sometimes, also with coffee), these moments of pause can help you stay present and intentional with your time.
4. Limit Distractions (Especially Technology)
In today’s world, distractions are everywhere. Phones, social media, emails, and constant notifications can easily pull us out of the present moment. As a busy mom, it’s especially important to manage these distractions so you can be fully engaged with your family.
Set boundaries with technology. For example, designate specific times during the day when you’ll check emails (let work be work, and know when to cut that time off especially if you work from home) or scroll through social media, and then turn off your phone or put it on silent when you’re spending time with your kids. This simple act of putting away your phone can make a huge difference in your ability to be “there” and engaged. It will also teach your children to do the same.
Additionally, try to avoid multitasking when you’re with your children. While it may seem efficient to fold laundry while helping with homework or making dinner while playing with your toddler, multitasking can divide your attention and make it harder to fully connect. You quickly realize you missed several sentences that they were trying to tell you and find yourself asking for them to repeat what could have been a very important part of their day. Instead, focus on one task at a time and give it your full attention.- I know, easier said, than done.
5. Create Routines
Routines help create stability and a sense of structure, which can make chaotic days feel more manageable. When your day has a predictable flow, it’s easier to stay grounded and present with your kids.
For example, establish a morning or evening routine that allows you to spend quality time together, even in the midst of busy schedules. It could be a morning cuddle before everyone gets up, story time at night, or a ritual of asking each other about the best part of the day.
Routines also help minimize stress because they create expectations. When both you and your kids know what to expect, it reduces anxiety and allows everyone to be more present in the moment.- This is extra important for anyone who has children with ADHD, ADD, etc. Schedules and knowing what to expect is very important for them.
6. Ask for Help
You don’t have to do everything yourself. As a busy mom, it can be tempting to take on all the responsibilities at home, but trying to do it all creates more stress. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. (This is something I always have to remind myself) Whether it’s your spouse, or your children, delegating tasks can free up time and mental energy so you can focus on the things that matter most.
Involving your kids in household chores can also teach them responsibility and give you a break. Whether it’s asking them to set the table, put away their toys, sweep or help with meal prep, making them part of the process allows you to share the workload and stay more present with them.
7. Let Go of the Guilt
Mom guilt is a real thing, but it doesn’t have to control you. Many of us moms feel guilty for not being able to do it all, and that guilt can take away their ability to be present. Remember that guilt is built on unrealistic expectations. No one can be everything to everyone all time.
Let go of the guilt that comes from feeling like you should always be doing more or being perfect. Instead, focus on what you can do now. Whether it’s sitting down for a few minutes of quiet time with your kids, playing a game, or simply listening to their thoughts, every little thing counts. Be kind to yourself, and remember that being “there” is the most important gift you can give.
8. Practice Gratitude
Within the chaos, it can be easy to get caught up in what’s going wrong or what still needs to be done and all of the endless tasks. However, shifting your mindset to one of gratitude can help you stay present and find joy in even the busiest of days. Take a few moments each day to think back on what you’re grateful for, whether it’s watching your kids play, the opportunity to have dinner together, or simply being home together.
Gratitude can also be a powerful tool for staying connected to each other. Encourage your children to share what they’re grateful for each day. This can create a sense of appreciation and help everyone focus on the positive, even during challenging moments.
9. Simplify Your Schedule
You don’t have to say yes to every invitation, event, or activity. It’s okay to say no when necessary. Prioritizing what’s most important to you and your family can help reduce the stress and being overwhelmed.
If your days are filled with back-to-back appointments and activities, consider cutting back, if possible. If you can, move things around to help your schedule flow. Maybe having one day that seems packed will give you one full day to unpack and unwind together. Give yourself and your family the space to breathe, relax, and truly enjoy the life together. By simplifying your schedule, you can free up time to be more present in the chaos of daily life.
10. Be Gentle with Yourself
Lastly, be gentle with yourself. As a busy mom, you will have moments when you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted. There will be times when you can’t be as present as you’d like, and that’s okay. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask for.
Give yourself permission to take breaks, to ask for help, and to let go of expectations. You don’t have to be “on” all the time to be a good mom. Sometimes, just being there—without needing to do anything else—is enough.
Final Thoughts
Staying present as a busy mom is not easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself and your family. By understanding you don’t perfection, setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and prioritizing your time in the chaos, you can create meaningful moments with your children, even on the busiest of days.
Being a mom is a journey, not a race. It’s okay if things get messy or if you don’t have it all figured out. What matters most is showing up, being present, and welcoming even the smallest moments of each day that comes with this incredible role. You are doing great, and being “There” is everything.